Individual. That's what you thought you were until you figured out you are just one small piece of all those who surround you. Until you see the person that looks like you shaking a folgers can on the side of the street. The look you gave that man, when you really looked at him, was love. Looked right into his eyes and couldn't escape yourself. Like looking into a store window you knew you couldn't afford to shop in.

I have the worst crush ever in life. And everytime i see you i get wiggly all over, and when i know ur sad i get upset. And i cant get close to u bc it would hurt too bad. I dont know what to do...:/ i feel like a bashful girl in middle school, but i guess it's all i've been through.

short and angry

i can't take this anymore...

watching my community disappear right in front of my eyes, how is Howard University an HBCU and the city of DC supposed to be Chocolate City and all i see are carefree white people jogging through like they own the place?

this is out of no malice towards the caucasian sect, but out of frustration as to their carelessness and sense of hubris when it comes to other people and their communities, cultures, and homes. why??

i'm quite sure there are some other properties to buy up and develop other than those of the black community. you first pushed them there because you thought they were savages now you want if back. f*cking indian givers. isnt that the term you all coined? about the other part of the black diasporic family?

im hurting

not a good look

my heart hurts. just knowing that this problem of race will never end...i can't stand to see what i am seeing and everyday it makes me sick. i wish i was cursed to live in ignorance...because knowing just hurts too bad. why why why? there really is no other question to ask at this point in life. i have a plan to fight back for my people. not out of the hate of anyone but out of the love of ourselves. we are only getting farther away from freedom, they have been trying to pull the sheep's wool over our eyes for so long and they have written a strategic manual telling the whole world how to get away with it. i have no respect for the institution that is calling itself America. f*ck a home of the free and brave. i know that may seem harsh, but it is really how i feel right now because so many people here are not free and definitely not brave because the a holes perpetuating this cycle of hate can't even do it out in the open. they still wear those white sheets...just in a different form...

this is like watching the love you have crumble in front of you. when i was young i made this promise and i still mean it. i will change the world. even if it is only one mind.

i'm geekin right now....

alter ego.

put on a protective mask,

just for all the hurt

you've felt in the past.

go alter ego.

keep on smiling,

and maybe then you will

keep from drowning

in your tears.

focus your mind on the task at hand...

worry not about what may come.

alter ego.

the only warmth in a cold world,

or maybe

alter ego

is what makes the world cold

in the first place.

before and after poem #dearex

before:

don't confuse me...

don't leave me hanging...

i am a hamster in a wheel with you,

you truly got me going in circles.

and not the good kind either.

one day everything is good,

the next you don't want to talk.

i found out you still bother with your ex.

we aren't together, but f*ck,

what about me?

and all i have put into this for you?

i have been beyond supportive,

beyond caring and understanding...

so now i am left with two choices...

be strung along like soap on a rope,

or let go....

after:

i deleted your number from my phone.

unadded you from my facebook,

and stopped following you on twitter.

took out the sexy pics you sent to my phone....

that was the hardest part...

but now i breathe without weight on my chest.

and you are just another post

on my blog.

blurb

when you stop hiding from yourself you really begin to realize the truths of your being. realization does not necessarily mean acceptance however. realization means the ability to see who you are and make need be changes. if you feel that you are fine the way you are, which would be an extremely hubris thing to say since we should always strive to grow, then stay how you are.

i have been on a constant journey of ending the game of self peek a boo. i am tired of hiding from me, so i do seek to find out things about myself everyday. whether it is in personal behaviors or mentality i try to find out something about me so that i meet myself all over again. it refreshes me....and sometimes uneases me because i know that i have the ability to do better sometimes.

eh, i think that's really all...i want to hook this blog up one day soon, but i need to sort out my schedule a little better than i have been.

goodnite blog people.